I went to a Dads Conference last week, but I have a confession to make. I am not a big conference guy. I do not generally enjoy conferences. I know there are usually a lot of great speakers who can challenge your thinking and the way you live you life, but most of the time I would rather read the book. You see, I am an introvert! I would rather not gather with hundreds of other people crammed in rows and absorbing mounds of information all day long. I would rather sit quietly and read a book about the same information. Then maybe talk with a couple of guys about it after.

But this conference was different. This conference had some similarities, actually a lot of similarities, to most conferences, but it was different. This was a conference that challenged a father and a husband to live life on very different terms than most men are willing to live. This conference challenged men to do a lot of things, but most fundamentally there were two themes. The first was to make disciples, starting with your children. The second was to have an open and honest relationship with our wife, starting by coming clean about any past or current sin left unconfessed, and followed up with more courageous conversations.

The first theme was championed by Phil Downer. During his several presentations, he shared stories of his many adventures in being discipled, as well as discipling other men. He traced his spiritual family tree back to a woman he never met, and can trace his spiritual descendants around the globe as they continue to impact people with the gospel. It started by discipling his children, one of whom spoke with him.  Now his life has impacted thousands as those he has discipled have reproduced spiritually through many generations. His life stands as an example of life of significance, the kind of life all of us desire when we are honest with ourselves. You can learn more about Phil Downer and Discipleship Network of America at www.dnaministries.org.

The second theme of the conference was about our relationship with our wife. Paul Speed began by sharing his former struggle with a particular sin and how he came clean to his wife and began to heal their relationship. It was not easy, but he and Jenny worked hard to overcome the chasm that sin caused in their relationship and now share their testimony and walk other couples through the process they had to go through themselves to find restoration. 

One other highlight regarding marriage came from Chris Hogan. Chris shared how all of us come into relationships desiring something. It may be good and noble, but when our desire is not met, we often feel angry. This anger often leads to some action, maybe an outburst or silence, followed by pride, telling myself I was justified. But when confronted with the pain of those we love, we feel shame and guilt, which can lead to grief and fear. But the desire is still their and the pattern repeats itself. This is the ugly reality of most relationships, especially marriages. How can we break the cycle? Chris and Ann Hogan have developed Noble Call Ministries to help couples do just that. They work with couples and groups, as well as speak at and host conferences, to share the skills they have learned work for them and so many others. It all begins with dying to self, as Jesus said.

This was a great conference, and I was able to deepen new friendships, make some new ones, see most of my family, and spend many hours with two of my closest friends.  I am grateful for this weekend, and for the incredible relationship I have with Jill. I am very aware of my shortcomings as a husband and father, but thankful for the challenge of this weekend.

If there are any men who want to talk about any of the topics mentioned above, I would love to talk more about them. I know it is intimidating to change the way you have been living and start to lead your family as God designed.  I know many are terrified and have no idea where to begin.  I know many wives do not trust their husbands because they have not led the family and have sought pleasure for themselves instead.  I know it is hard.  I know.  But it’s worth it!  I have a passion to see men stand up and be the men God created us to be, and I know we cannot do it alone. Be courageous guys. Step up!