I can’t believe that 91 Days have come and gone since I last visited my Nana.  In some ways it feels so short, in other ways it feels like more than that.  I have pondered a great many things these past 91 days.  Past, present, and future. Personal, parental, social, and church. Children, family, friends, and strangers.  No matter what I have pondered over these days, it can all be summarized to one thought.

Every minute matters.

Somehow when you are older time gets distorted. Your memories get reorganized. As you sit there at age 91 (more or less) it’s the inconsistencies that creep up in your mind.  The little things become big and big things are sometime forgotten.  The mind is an amazing thing, and to watch it “grow old” is sometimes a bewilderment.  But if we are consistent- all the time, in all ways then there is less room for inconsistent memories. Sure, our memories may get jumbled some days.  For whether we remember this day or that, they will be the same in one way or another.  They will have a consistent theme.

Our thoughts, our convictions, our calling, our daily choices all matter.  If at any time we compromise, even the smallest bit- oh, only just for a minute.  Just for this one person, we think, or this circumstance is different.  There we begin the sometimes subtle invasion of compromise in our lives.  But is it really that big of a deal?  Yes. If compromise is justified based on circumstance, then our morals, our calling, God’s truth in our lives becomes just a good idea.  How then is our commitment to God any different than someone else’s good idea to be a nice person?  Our commitment to God and His word should NOT be affected by circumstance.  THIS is consistency.

Psalm 15 talks about God “honoring those who fear the Lord, and keeps his oath even when it hurts”  Sometimes it is not easy to be constant.  Bending to circumstance—well, sometimes seems easier.  Maybe in the present it is easier, but in the end, it’s not.

Every minute matters.

When I am 91, it is my prayer –that I will have lived as consistent as humanly possible by God’s amazing grace.  I know on my own accord I am unable. At my core, I am inconsistent- sometimes thinking more about the opinion of man than of God.  I pray that I care more what God thinks of me—committing ALL my ways to Him, even when it hurts or is hard.  For when I am 91, I desire to have consistent memories of trusting God more than man.  Through the years,  hopefully my children will have gained great confidence in our Great God over confidence in “men”.  And “men” will turn to my children for wisdom and council because they consistently trusted God.  In the end, God will receive more glory.

When I am 91, when I “sit with my memories” (as my Nana says), there will be days that I remember this or that, BUT  I pray that they have a consistent theme. A theme that is clearly remembered– “trust in the Lord, and lean not on your own understanding, In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight, do not be wise in your own eyes”  Prov. 3:5-6

Every minute matters.

Suzanne, Jill, Nana, and Mom-- in  Florida 91 days ago

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