So early one morning I did a quick skim of the gospel of John, asking the question, “How did Christ love the church?”  Here is some of what I found:

Jesus cleansed the Temple, purifying it from the sin that was so prevalent (chapters 1-2).

Jesus constantly directed the church’s attention to eternity (6:27).

Jesus was willing to lead through rejection (6:41ff).

Jesus was gracious (chapter 8).

Jesus was a shepherd (chapter 10).

Jesus served (chapter 13).

Jesus revealed the Father (14:7ff).

Jesus prayed for the church (chapter 17).

Jesus was strong in the face of criticism (chapter 18ff).

Jesus  was willing to be punished for the sins of the church (19:30).

Jesus forgave and lead into reconciliation (21:15).

I also thought about Philippians 2, the great demonstration of Jesus’ humility.

What an image of love, and this is just a first blush through one gospel.  I have so much to learn about how to love Jill, and she has been so patient with me as I learn.  I am grateful.  I am humbled.  Father, help me to love Jill as Christ loved the church.

Deuteronomy 6 is one of the greatest chapters in all the Old Testament. The beginning of the chapter implores fathers to teach the commandments to their children all the time. It tells us to teach them to our children when we get up, when we lay down, when we walk along the way and when we sit in our house. We are to teach them all the time. This is discipleship.

But to make the point more clear, we are to teach them diligently. The Hebrew word for teach diligently literally means to sharpen. We are to sharpen these truths into our children. It is an image of one working with a blade or point, perfecting it through continuous sharpening. We are to continuously sharpen our children in the ways of God.

But the chapter goes on to warn the Israelites. They are about to go into the promised land and they will have victory over their enemies. The Lord promises the victory. But there is a danger they will face that will be far more subtle, and actually more dangerous, than those who live in the cities. In verses 10-12 we read, “So it shall be, when the Lord your God brings you into the land of which He swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give you large and beautiful cities which you did not build, houses full of all good things, which you did not fill, hewn-out wells which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant – when you have eaten and are full – then beware, lest you forget the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.” As I read these words I think of the church in America today. It seems we are comfortable, bellies full, lives full, schedules full, but we have forgotten.

Some will say we have not forgotten, but we have. We have forgotten the battles of the great reformers who shed blood to protect and establish theological truths and traditions that we take for granted. We have forgotten the wisdom of the older generations and have cast them off to be discarded. We have forgotten in our own nation the sacrifices of those who risked their lives to create a nation based on freedom. We have forgotten those who have since died protecting that very freedom. We have forgotten the great providence of the Lord our God. Beware!

We need to beware, remembering all that God has done for us. We need to remember and make sure our children remember. The method given in this passage to help them to not forget is incredibly simple. It is at the beginning and at the end of the chapter. At the beginning we are told to teach the commandments, statutes and judgments, and at the end of the chapter we are told that when our children ask what the meaning of them is, we are to tell them a story. Not just any story, but the story. The great story of the providence of God to lead Israel out of bondage and into the promised land. It was a story they needed to hear and remember. It was a story that would remind those who heard, as well as those who told, all that God had done for them. It was a story that would help them to not forget the Lord their God.

We need to teach our children, sharpen them to a perfect point, and send them out as arrows shot from the bow of a warrior. We need to prepare our children to be dominion warriors, taking ground for the kingdom of God. But we need to continue to tell them the stories, not just of Scripture, but of our own lives, what God has done for us, our family, our nation, the church, etc. We need to tell them over and over lest we and they forget the Lord our God. We cannot get complacent. We cannot get too comfortable. We cannot forget the Lord our God.

We were blessed to see pillars of dripstone 60 feet high.  We saw walls that looked like they were melting because they are covered with flowstone.  There was also an organ connected to mechanical hammers that would tap a stalagmite to produce the sound.  All of the sound from the organ came from the cave itself. It was amazing, and the cave is plays host to many weddings each year.

But maybe the most amazing thing that struck Jill and me was a shallow lake.  This lake was only 18 inches at it’s deepest point.  The water is so still that the reflection of the ceiling above it is nearly perfect.  Jill and I had the same thought as we stood, gazing into this pool; “For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face.  Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.” (1Cor. 13:12)  As perfect as the image was, it was not the original.  As well as we might be able to know God now, we will never know Him fully this side of glory.  I look forward to the day when I will see Him face to face and know Him fully, even as I am fully known.

The actual purpose of our trip to Virginia was the Family Encouragement Weekend.  This is an event we attended last year for the first time and are committed to making it a part of our August as long as it is offered.  Three families work together to make this weekend all that it is.  They are the Wilkes family, the Neely family and the Staddon family.  If you would like to see pictures from the weekend or read other testimonies of God’s work, click on the underlined names to go to their websites.  We are incredibly grateful to all of these families for making this weekend encouraging, challenging and edifying for us as well as all of the other families that attended.

The weekend is structured rather simply.  There were speakers who shared truths from the Scriptures with practical applications, as well as real life confirming testimonies from their own families.  There were times for families to gather with other families for prayer.  There were games for the kids while the dads got together to ask questions and pray.  This is a weekend focused on encouraging families to carry on in the struggle to raise up godly children in this world.  We were incredibly encouraged and challenged to do just that.

The most remarkable thing to me again this year is who the speakers are.  These men would not be given a stage or a hearing in any leadership conference.  They do not come with worldly credentials that would make anyone say, “Wow, I need to listen to this guy.”  What they bring is a testimony of a family living for God, children who love God, and generations following after them who are giving their lives to build the kingdom of God.  When I think of these men I think of Paul, writing to the Corinthians, and challenging their views of credentials:

“Do we begin again to commend ourselves?  Or do we need, as some others, epistles of commendation to you or letters of commendation from you?  You are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read by all men: clearly you are an epistle of Christ, ministered by us, written not with ink, but by the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of flesh, that is, of the heart.” –2Corinthians 3:1-3

What I am saying is that these men have the greatest credentials any man can have.  The Spirit of the living God has written epistles on the hearts of their children, and their children are writing their own epistles on the hearts of others, all to the glory of God.  I do not say this to embarrass them, though I am sure they will be.  I say this to encourage all of us to look beyond the surface, look beyond the degrees, look beyond the job.  Look at the heart and look at the fruit of a man’s life.  I am honored to sit under the teaching of men like these.  Thank you.

If you would like to listen to the mp3’s from the Virginia FEW weekend, as well as the FEW weekend held in North Carolina in March, just click here.

When we began doing family devotions it was awkward and challenging. I was uncomfortable, not communicating well with the kids, and they were not enjoying sitting for long. I decided we would read through a book of the Bible. We would gather together after dinner was cleaned up and read a passage. I would ask questions, trying to be practical and help them understand how the passage related to their lives. It was challenging, but we were struggling through it together. We would follow that time with prayer, and then we would work on a passage we were memorizing together.

This process often took an hour, which we learned was way too much. I wanted this to be a priority, but I needed to be more realistic. I needed to find ways to allow the kids to be more engaged, have more fun, and shorten our time without sacrificing what I wanted to accomplish. I needed to be creative, which is not my strong suite.

Jill helped a lot with all of this, giving me ideas, helping me communicate with the kids and encouraging their participation. We began to act out passages, being silly at times, trying to make the time together more interesting. Over the winter, when it got dark early, we were reading through Mark and came to the transfiguration. To try to capture the light shining from Jesus we turned off the lights and put on silly glasses that were painted with glow-in-the-dark paint. Is this what Jesus looked like? They knew it wasn’t, but they remember that night, and they remember that story. We are currently reading through Genesis and are in the middle of the Joseph story. Different children are reading the different characters in the story. When Pharaoh chooses Joseph to lead the nation he places his ring, a robe, and a gold chain on Joseph. So the person reading Pharaoh’s lines did the same to the person reading Joseph’s lines. She put a ring, a multi-colored towel, and a…oops, I forgot to get a necklace…oh well, on her brother. They remember the story.

When we pray, each child has a journal. The ones who cannot read have a picture journal. Each one has a day and they lead us in prayer. We are also able to give them updates on how God is answering prayer, which encourages them in their prayers all the more. It is a powerful lesson for all of us, and a constant reminder of God’s faithfulness.

We also do Scripture memory. We have changed the way we do this recently, and it is working great. I found a simple Scripture memory system that I introduced to the family that takes just a few minutes each day and allows passages to stick quickly and be repeated often. To learn more about that you can go to http://simplycharlottemason.com/timesavers/memorysys/.

You may read this article and still be intimidated. I want to encourage you to simply try something. You don’t have to do all of this. Just start with something. We now take about 40 minutes for all of this. It is an investment that pays dividends every day. Our children are hiding God’s Word in their hearts, they are experiencing God answering prayer, and they are learning how the Scriptures apply to their lives. These are critical life-long lessons for all of us. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it (Prov. 22:6). Start training, men.

When they mentioned this, it was not a big part of the conversation, just something that was mentioned, something they worked at, and then the we moved on.  But God would not let Jill and me move on.  Over the next couple of days this passage kept coming back to us, convicting us, as we found ourselves complaining about one thing or another…ouch!

So, we have also committed to the 2:14 challenge.  When we are in the midst of complaining about anything, the other has permission, even the responsibility, to simply say, “2:14.”  The complaining must stop at that point, and the recipient cannot react, complain or explain themselves.  They simply have to stop complaining.

I encourage you to join us in this challenge.  So often we can find ourselves complaining to others, or even to ourselves, about others or a situation.  It is easy to do something, react to a situation, and then justify your behavior by complaining/explaining why you did or said what you did or said.  It is easy to share your struggles or frustrations with someone we care about, but in an attitude of complaining rather than seeking counsel.  It is easy to focus on what is wrong with others and keep the focus away from what God may be trying to teach you. 

So, stop complaining and join the 2:14 challenge!

Surgeries like this are “wait and see”.  Would the tumor be attached to his brain? What would happen? Sometimes your thoughts are so full that you can’t even think!  Is this really real?  And then, in that same train of thought, your life gains IMMENSE perspective! Seriously- I was just complaining about……….  My “light and momentary troubles” have just become like dust.  Something that SEEMED overwhelming, just blew away in the wind.  God swung me around as if to say “Wake up! Get Perspective”

Logan came out of surgery last night.  After 11 hours the doctors successfully removed ALL of it!!!!!! Every bit!!!! And it was NOT attached to the brain, but the bone.  THANK YOU LORD!!! 

Logan has a long recovery ahead of him. His family and he covet your prayers and encouragement.  But OH, what a very GOOD Friday it is today!!!!

He has a “Caring Bridge” site set up for updates.  The address is http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/circleoflove.  This site is restricted, so you will need to enter some information and get approval from the author, but that will just take a minute.  Thank you for your prayers.  

So many of our struggles come because we have plans, great plans, OUR plans, OUR ideas, OUR way of doing/accomplishing something.

Our marriage should be a living example of Christ’s relationship to the church. Scripture tells us “husbands love your wife just as Christ loved the church” In order to do that we must first examine what it means to live like Christ.  Luke 14 talks about the challenge of being a disciple of Christ. That we must “forsake all we have have” to follow him.  Here begins the great challenge of “meekness” or “yielding” our personal rights and expectations to God.

Somehow in our independent nature we start to think that we can handle this, that we know how to take care of this or that. God always does better. Sure you might be “capable”, but victory combined with peace, joy and freedom—that only comes from God!

So what do you need to “give up”? What is it that you are controlling? Is it your home. work, reputation, image, plans?  What expectations to you have of your life or even your day? Giving up your expectations and yielding your personal rights to God is challenging.

Let us share with you a little trick to make it easier.  Learn more about God and His word and less about the opinions of man. The more you learn His word, the more you learn about Him.  The more you learn about Him, the more you desire to be like Him.  The opposite is true as well—- the more you learn about man and latest and greatest things, well, the more you want to be like them.  This we have learned.

“Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord” (Isaiah 55:7–8).

This week talk together about what you need to yield.  What you may need to give up. As well, think on your own, “what do I need to give up that I hold against my spouse?” Sometimes, we are a stumbling block to those we love. Tell your spouse your thoughts and ask him/her for forgiveness.

Be careful!!! It is easy to think, “he needs to this or that”  or “she never does this, so how can I be expected…” 

Your obedience to God is NOT contingent on your spouses actions.  Your obedience is between YOU and GOD.  NO EXCUSES!

We have been working on building character in our children.  When we started our new homeschooling curriculum this past August, we wanted a way to encourage and motivate our children to want and hunger for more Godly character in their lives.  So we began what has now become “Purple Boxes”.

We made a list of the 49 different character qualities that our curriculum covers.  We listed them in alphabetical order with empty boxes next to each.  We brought out the sheets (one for each kid)nearly every night at dinner for what we called “character challenge”.  The “rules” were simple.  You were able to nominate anyone else in the house for a character trait, and then you were to explain why you nominated them.  You could not speak of yourself, only others.  Then mom or dad would color in a box next to that trait on your sheet – at the time we started doing it with a purple highlighter. Hence, “purple boxes”.

Some traits are easier to nominate than others.  It is easy to recognize when someone is showing gratitude, but challenging to give notice to someone showing deference or virtue. (We will attach a new link to our blog with the list and another list with definitions mentioned in this article).  Over the months it has been wonderful to see how each child excelled in different places.  Their siblings would get so excited when they got another purple box and that character trait was running out of space.  They began to want for their siblings to “run off the page” with purple boxes.

So for the past 8 months we have done “Purple Boxes” nearly every night.  We stopped for a short while around New Years and kids formed a coup and voted the return of purple boxes!!!

During this time, like most of the day, Joel is quiet.  He does not initiate conversation unless we are eating spaghetti and he wants more.  We know that he listens to us and that he understands, so we keep plugging along.  He is always included and is commonly nominated for joyfulness or contentment or obedience.

Last night was different. After 8 months Joel INITIATED a nomination!!!!!!!!!!!  At first we weren’t sure what he was trying to communicate. He was frustrated and put his hands over his eyes.  “Joel” mom asked, “Do you want more spaghetti?” Silence. This is Joel’s “no”- silence.  He repeats or echoes you if it is a “yes”. “Ok, Joel, do you want to tell us something?” He pointed to Daddy. “Do you want to tell Daddy something?” “Daddy” Joel said. Ok- now we are getting somewhere.  “Do you want to tell Daddy something about Jamie?” “Mayme” he said. (we were currently in the process of nominations for Jamie on Purple Boxes) “OH, you want to tell Daddy something about Jamie today. Do you want to tell him about her work?” silence –meanwhile I am raking my brain for the things Jamie did all day that Joel may have witnessed.Then it dawned on me that Jamie had received extra coloring pages for good work today. “Oh, do you want to tell Daddy about Jamie coloring?”  “color” he replied.  “Yes! Jamie did get extra coloring pages today for doing good work on her ABC’s.  Do you want to nominate her for her good work?”  “good job” he says.  Jamie is BEAMING with joy for such a gift from Joel!

Then, there is more.  The table started to rejoice for Joel and he didn’t want it.  He covered his eyes again. “Joel do you want to say more?”   “more” he said. “Do you want to say more to Jamie?”  “mayme” he said.  “OK, do you want to tell about Jamie practicing?” silence “DO you want to tell about Jamie playing?” “play” he uttered.  “Ok, you would like to tell about Jamie playing. Did she play nicely with you?”   “me, ya” he said with a nod.  “So would you like to nominate Jamie for kindness for playing with you?”  “Ya, good job” he stated matter of factly.

The table ROARED and ERUPTED with applause!!!!!!!!!!!!  Joel we want to nominate you for Initiative, sincerity, and kindness.  Good Job Joel!!!!! Thank you for telling us!

Wow- we were all stunned, utter shock was still in the eyes of the whole table! ….8 months, day in and day out, 8 months, and last night he spoke, he initiated, he nominated, he gave his sister a HUGE gift.

Autism is a bewilderment most days.  You would just love to work you way into their thoughts.  What is he thinking?  Press on parents! Continue to encourage your children and fight for what you KNOW is inside their hearts even if they don’t show it.  8 months- that is nearly 240 days…..

Be encouraged parents. Be faithful in leading your children. It may take 240 times before you get a response, hopefully less, but OH will it be worth it!!!

We will NEVER forget last night. Never.

It is our prayer that you are encouraged by this testimony of Joel. That you continue on- day in and day.  For one day, you will reap a harvest, and it will be a sweet reward!

Press on parents! Press on!