At a recent session meeting I was talking with the elders about discipleship. The issue of discipling our children being a priority came up, and I shared my concern that many fathers were not taking up that Biblical responsibility. One of our elders wisely pointed out that we are all discipling our children. The question is, what are we discipling them to become? What a great insight.

The reality is that we are all discipling our children to become something. Generally children want to please their parents, so they will gravitate to the things that they perceive are important to their parents, particularly their fathers. I found this to be true in my home when my children began to perceive that Ohio State football was a priority for me, and they became huge fans. The irony is that they still do not know all the rules of football. They don’t know more than a player or two by name. They don’t know what other teams are in the Big Ten Conference. All they know is, dad loves Ohio State, hates Michigan, and so do we!

As funny as that sounds, it bothered me. Is that what they see in me? Is that what they perceive to be most important to me? Recently I actually asked my children what they thought was most important to me. I was pleased with their responses. It confirmed for me that while I am far from perfect, I am on the right track as a father. They said obedience to God was my number one priority. Thank you Lord! My morning devotions and family devotions were also high on the list. No one mentioned the Buckeyes.

I tell you this because I am absolutely convinced that it is critical to be intentional in discipling our children, to “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4) The beginning of this verse challenges fathers to do this. Not the church, not mothers, no one else…fathers. It is our job, men. If it is important to us to raise our children to one day confess Jesus as Lord, and to live their lives according to God’s wisdom, we must be intentional.

Deuteronomy 6:6-8 gives one of the earliest biblical challenges to men to teach their children God’s ways. “These commandments that I give you today shall be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” These commandments are first to be on our hearts, and we are also to impress them upon our children all the time.

There are many ways to do these things, and you will have to determine which ways will work best for you and your family. One way that I am convinced should be non-negotiable piece is daily family devotions. It may sound intimidating and time consuming, but it is critical. I know there are a lot of men who will say they don’t know enough about the Bible to lead their family in devotions. Many will say their wife is more qualified, knows the Bible better, and has better answers. That may be true. But God has called you, men, to lead your families. I understand your concern. I even understand your fear. I may have more Biblical knowledge than Jill, but she relates that information to the children far better than I do. So how will that work? I can tell you, it takes practice, patience, and conversations between husband and wife. But it is worth it!!

If it truly is important, you must make time. I know there are so many things vying for your time. I know there are many activities, jobs, school work, etc. But what is most important? In the end, what is most important? If there is an activity that is crowding your time, ask yourself if that activity is more important than discipling your children to become the Godly man or woman they were created to be. If that activity can do a better job of that, so be it. But I honestly do not know of any activity that can do that better than a willing father.

The world will say that you cannot sacrifice your child’s experiences. They must participate in many activities to keep them busy and make them well rounded. But the Bible says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death” (Prov. 14:12). “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Prov. 22:6). Look at any statistics you want and you will see that bringing your children to worship on Sunday and raising them in a “good” home will not get the results you hope they will. We must disciple them to be what we want them to be.

To help men lead their families in daily Bible reading and prayer, I am developing monthly family devotional guides. The first of these guides will be available in the next week here on our website, free to download. I will continue to add to them over time, and encourage any man who wants to talk about practical ideas, to email or call me. I want to help men lead their families as God intended.

I am currently preaching a sermon series on Romans 6, and thought if might be good to post the link to the series here in case anyone wants to listen.  I am encouraging the congregation to memorize the passage by the end, and I would encourage anyone reading this to do the same.  If you listen to the first sermon, you will hear at the end an explanation of how you can finally break free from the sins that so easily entangle you.  The picture is a new friend named Ben.  Ben demonstrate for all of us how we are supposed to respond in the face of sin and temptation…we are dead to sin, how can we live in it any longer?

Here are the links to the sermons in this series.

Romans 6:1-2

Romans 6:3-4

Romans 6:5-7

Romans 6:8-10

Romans 6:11-14

Romans 6:15-16

Romans 6:17-18

Romans 6:19-21

The others will be coming as they are preached.   I pray this is helpful and the Lord is glorified by the freedom you find in His Word.

As promised we will post our Marriage Study topics so you can do them on your own.  Most of them you don’t need to be married for, so they really apply to all of us.

Week 1: Laundry

This is not the T-shirt kind of laundry.  This is the laundry that is in your life closet. All of those things in your life that are a source of stress, challenge, frustration, sadness, and maybe confusion. No one is without them.  We all have “dirty laundry” in our lives that we need to clean up.

The challenge is two fold.

First, make your laundry list.  List out all the things in your life that you would like to change or work on.  They can be personal (thoughts, attitude, actions), they can be financial (budget, choice making, debt, stress, work), or they can be marital (communication, different personalities, parenting, extended family).  Make your list- little and big alike.

Second, if you believe that God is sovereign, then He is sovereign ALL THE TIME.  It is impossible to be half way sovereign or sovereign in just part of our lives. So now, discipline yourself to go through your list and make a second list within a list.  List under each “laundry item” all the reasons why God would allow you to go through this challenge. Remember, this is a list about God’s sovereignty in your life- not about your mistakes and “natural consequences”.  So list it out.  Why would God allow you to be challenged in this way?  It’s a little like being a teacher and making a lesson plan.  What do you learn from this? What will be changed about you when this is all said and done?  How is your marriage going to be stronger because of this?

I went to a Dads Conference last week, but I have a confession to make. I am not a big conference guy. I do not generally enjoy conferences. I know there are usually a lot of great speakers who can challenge your thinking and the way you live you life, but most of the time I would rather read the book. You see, I am an introvert! I would rather not gather with hundreds of other people crammed in rows and absorbing mounds of information all day long. I would rather sit quietly and read a book about the same information. Then maybe talk with a couple of guys about it after.

But this conference was different. This conference had some similarities, actually a lot of similarities, to most conferences, but it was different. This was a conference that challenged a father and a husband to live life on very different terms than most men are willing to live. This conference challenged men to do a lot of things, but most fundamentally there were two themes. The first was to make disciples, starting with your children. The second was to have an open and honest relationship with our wife, starting by coming clean about any past or current sin left unconfessed, and followed up with more courageous conversations.

The first theme was championed by Phil Downer. During his several presentations, he shared stories of his many adventures in being discipled, as well as discipling other men. He traced his spiritual family tree back to a woman he never met, and can trace his spiritual descendants around the globe as they continue to impact people with the gospel. It started by discipling his children, one of whom spoke with him.  Now his life has impacted thousands as those he has discipled have reproduced spiritually through many generations. His life stands as an example of life of significance, the kind of life all of us desire when we are honest with ourselves. You can learn more about Phil Downer and Discipleship Network of America at www.dnaministries.org.

The second theme of the conference was about our relationship with our wife. Paul Speed began by sharing his former struggle with a particular sin and how he came clean to his wife and began to heal their relationship. It was not easy, but he and Jenny worked hard to overcome the chasm that sin caused in their relationship and now share their testimony and walk other couples through the process they had to go through themselves to find restoration. 

One other highlight regarding marriage came from Chris Hogan. Chris shared how all of us come into relationships desiring something. It may be good and noble, but when our desire is not met, we often feel angry. This anger often leads to some action, maybe an outburst or silence, followed by pride, telling myself I was justified. But when confronted with the pain of those we love, we feel shame and guilt, which can lead to grief and fear. But the desire is still their and the pattern repeats itself. This is the ugly reality of most relationships, especially marriages. How can we break the cycle? Chris and Ann Hogan have developed Noble Call Ministries to help couples do just that. They work with couples and groups, as well as speak at and host conferences, to share the skills they have learned work for them and so many others. It all begins with dying to self, as Jesus said.

This was a great conference, and I was able to deepen new friendships, make some new ones, see most of my family, and spend many hours with two of my closest friends.  I am grateful for this weekend, and for the incredible relationship I have with Jill. I am very aware of my shortcomings as a husband and father, but thankful for the challenge of this weekend.

If there are any men who want to talk about any of the topics mentioned above, I would love to talk more about them. I know it is intimidating to change the way you have been living and start to lead your family as God designed.  I know many are terrified and have no idea where to begin.  I know many wives do not trust their husbands because they have not led the family and have sought pleasure for themselves instead.  I know it is hard.  I know.  But it’s worth it!  I have a passion to see men stand up and be the men God created us to be, and I know we cannot do it alone. Be courageous guys. Step up!

There Off!!!!!!!!!!!

This morning our Dad and Mr. Prieser (another dad and great friend of the family) are off to a Dad’s Conference! We are so excited for them to learn and grow as well as have a great time of renewal and inspiration!

see  more about it     http://ati.iblp.org/ati/family/news/dadsconference/

Right now they are driving from CT, across PA through the mountains, to Sharon , PA to pick up another Dad (Mr. Bestwick), and then tomorrow they will hit the road again towards IN.

The conference runs for four days and has AMAZING Godly speakers.  What a blessing that each of our families have Dad’s that want to be the BEST dads they can be!

Stay tuned for updates!

Paul writes to Timothy to flee and pursue, and gives a list of things to pursue.  That list begins with righteousness.  Paul gives us an interesting dilemma here.  There is no one who is righteous, no not one.  It is only in Jesus that anyone is righteous, since none of us have a righteousness of our own.  So what is Paul telling Timothy?  Why would he tell him to pursue something that is given by God, not earned in some life pursuit?  I think for very good reason.

The word righteousness in the Greek is the same word as justice.  We translate it both ways, but in English we use those words differently.  In reality, they are two sides of the same coin.  We can look at it and say that because God is just, He must require that we are righteous.  His justice requires our righteousness.  He requires us to be like Him.  But knowing we cannot ever be like Him, He provided Jesus to pay the penalty for our sin, thus making anyone who is in Christ a new creation, and righteous.

But Timothy was already in Christ, so why would Paul tell him to pursue righteousness?  We are called to continue to pursue holiness, working out our salvation, as long as we are on this earth.  We are to continually be transformed to more fully reflect the light of Christ to the world.  We are to press on toward that goal, pursuing it as we would pursue a prize at the end of a race.  The danger is that if we are not pursuing righteousness we will drift toward unrighteousness.  That is our nature.  That is our flesh.  That is the danger of lukewarm Christianity.  We must pursue righteousness, constantly striving for obedience, not that we earn salvation through it, but that we would be more faithful disciples.  This is what it means to delight yourself in the Lord and nothing else.  Constant pursuit of Him!