When they mentioned this, it was not a big part of the conversation, just something that was mentioned, something they worked at, and then the we moved on.  But God would not let Jill and me move on.  Over the next couple of days this passage kept coming back to us, convicting us, as we found ourselves complaining about one thing or another…ouch!

So, we have also committed to the 2:14 challenge.  When we are in the midst of complaining about anything, the other has permission, even the responsibility, to simply say, “2:14.”  The complaining must stop at that point, and the recipient cannot react, complain or explain themselves.  They simply have to stop complaining.

I encourage you to join us in this challenge.  So often we can find ourselves complaining to others, or even to ourselves, about others or a situation.  It is easy to do something, react to a situation, and then justify your behavior by complaining/explaining why you did or said what you did or said.  It is easy to share your struggles or frustrations with someone we care about, but in an attitude of complaining rather than seeking counsel.  It is easy to focus on what is wrong with others and keep the focus away from what God may be trying to teach you. 

So, stop complaining and join the 2:14 challenge!

Surgeries like this are “wait and see”.  Would the tumor be attached to his brain? What would happen? Sometimes your thoughts are so full that you can’t even think!  Is this really real?  And then, in that same train of thought, your life gains IMMENSE perspective! Seriously- I was just complaining about……….  My “light and momentary troubles” have just become like dust.  Something that SEEMED overwhelming, just blew away in the wind.  God swung me around as if to say “Wake up! Get Perspective”

Logan came out of surgery last night.  After 11 hours the doctors successfully removed ALL of it!!!!!! Every bit!!!! And it was NOT attached to the brain, but the bone.  THANK YOU LORD!!! 

Logan has a long recovery ahead of him. His family and he covet your prayers and encouragement.  But OH, what a very GOOD Friday it is today!!!!

He has a “Caring Bridge” site set up for updates.  The address is http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/circleoflove.  This site is restricted, so you will need to enter some information and get approval from the author, but that will just take a minute.  Thank you for your prayers.  

So many of our struggles come because we have plans, great plans, OUR plans, OUR ideas, OUR way of doing/accomplishing something.

Our marriage should be a living example of Christ’s relationship to the church. Scripture tells us “husbands love your wife just as Christ loved the church” In order to do that we must first examine what it means to live like Christ.  Luke 14 talks about the challenge of being a disciple of Christ. That we must “forsake all we have have” to follow him.  Here begins the great challenge of “meekness” or “yielding” our personal rights and expectations to God.

Somehow in our independent nature we start to think that we can handle this, that we know how to take care of this or that. God always does better. Sure you might be “capable”, but victory combined with peace, joy and freedom—that only comes from God!

So what do you need to “give up”? What is it that you are controlling? Is it your home. work, reputation, image, plans?  What expectations to you have of your life or even your day? Giving up your expectations and yielding your personal rights to God is challenging.

Let us share with you a little trick to make it easier.  Learn more about God and His word and less about the opinions of man. The more you learn His word, the more you learn about Him.  The more you learn about Him, the more you desire to be like Him.  The opposite is true as well—- the more you learn about man and latest and greatest things, well, the more you want to be like them.  This we have learned.

“Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord” (Isaiah 55:7–8).

This week talk together about what you need to yield.  What you may need to give up. As well, think on your own, “what do I need to give up that I hold against my spouse?” Sometimes, we are a stumbling block to those we love. Tell your spouse your thoughts and ask him/her for forgiveness.

Be careful!!! It is easy to think, “he needs to this or that”  or “she never does this, so how can I be expected…” 

Your obedience to God is NOT contingent on your spouses actions.  Your obedience is between YOU and GOD.  NO EXCUSES!

We have been working on building character in our children.  When we started our new homeschooling curriculum this past August, we wanted a way to encourage and motivate our children to want and hunger for more Godly character in their lives.  So we began what has now become “Purple Boxes”.

We made a list of the 49 different character qualities that our curriculum covers.  We listed them in alphabetical order with empty boxes next to each.  We brought out the sheets (one for each kid)nearly every night at dinner for what we called “character challenge”.  The “rules” were simple.  You were able to nominate anyone else in the house for a character trait, and then you were to explain why you nominated them.  You could not speak of yourself, only others.  Then mom or dad would color in a box next to that trait on your sheet – at the time we started doing it with a purple highlighter. Hence, “purple boxes”.

Some traits are easier to nominate than others.  It is easy to recognize when someone is showing gratitude, but challenging to give notice to someone showing deference or virtue. (We will attach a new link to our blog with the list and another list with definitions mentioned in this article).  Over the months it has been wonderful to see how each child excelled in different places.  Their siblings would get so excited when they got another purple box and that character trait was running out of space.  They began to want for their siblings to “run off the page” with purple boxes.

So for the past 8 months we have done “Purple Boxes” nearly every night.  We stopped for a short while around New Years and kids formed a coup and voted the return of purple boxes!!!

During this time, like most of the day, Joel is quiet.  He does not initiate conversation unless we are eating spaghetti and he wants more.  We know that he listens to us and that he understands, so we keep plugging along.  He is always included and is commonly nominated for joyfulness or contentment or obedience.

Last night was different. After 8 months Joel INITIATED a nomination!!!!!!!!!!!  At first we weren’t sure what he was trying to communicate. He was frustrated and put his hands over his eyes.  “Joel” mom asked, “Do you want more spaghetti?” Silence. This is Joel’s “no”- silence.  He repeats or echoes you if it is a “yes”. “Ok, Joel, do you want to tell us something?” He pointed to Daddy. “Do you want to tell Daddy something?” “Daddy” Joel said. Ok- now we are getting somewhere.  “Do you want to tell Daddy something about Jamie?” “Mayme” he said. (we were currently in the process of nominations for Jamie on Purple Boxes) “OH, you want to tell Daddy something about Jamie today. Do you want to tell him about her work?” silence –meanwhile I am raking my brain for the things Jamie did all day that Joel may have witnessed.Then it dawned on me that Jamie had received extra coloring pages for good work today. “Oh, do you want to tell Daddy about Jamie coloring?”  “color” he replied.  “Yes! Jamie did get extra coloring pages today for doing good work on her ABC’s.  Do you want to nominate her for her good work?”  “good job” he says.  Jamie is BEAMING with joy for such a gift from Joel!

Then, there is more.  The table started to rejoice for Joel and he didn’t want it.  He covered his eyes again. “Joel do you want to say more?”   “more” he said. “Do you want to say more to Jamie?”  “mayme” he said.  “OK, do you want to tell about Jamie practicing?” silence “DO you want to tell about Jamie playing?” “play” he uttered.  “Ok, you would like to tell about Jamie playing. Did she play nicely with you?”   “me, ya” he said with a nod.  “So would you like to nominate Jamie for kindness for playing with you?”  “Ya, good job” he stated matter of factly.

The table ROARED and ERUPTED with applause!!!!!!!!!!!!  Joel we want to nominate you for Initiative, sincerity, and kindness.  Good Job Joel!!!!! Thank you for telling us!

Wow- we were all stunned, utter shock was still in the eyes of the whole table! ….8 months, day in and day out, 8 months, and last night he spoke, he initiated, he nominated, he gave his sister a HUGE gift.

Autism is a bewilderment most days.  You would just love to work you way into their thoughts.  What is he thinking?  Press on parents! Continue to encourage your children and fight for what you KNOW is inside their hearts even if they don’t show it.  8 months- that is nearly 240 days…..

Be encouraged parents. Be faithful in leading your children. It may take 240 times before you get a response, hopefully less, but OH will it be worth it!!!

We will NEVER forget last night. Never.

It is our prayer that you are encouraged by this testimony of Joel. That you continue on- day in and day.  For one day, you will reap a harvest, and it will be a sweet reward!

Press on parents! Press on!

Every minute matters.

Somehow when you are older time gets distorted. Your memories get reorganized. As you sit there at age 91 (more or less) it’s the inconsistencies that creep up in your mind.  The little things become big and big things are sometime forgotten.  The mind is an amazing thing, and to watch it “grow old” is sometimes a bewilderment.  But if we are consistent- all the time, in all ways then there is less room for inconsistent memories. Sure, our memories may get jumbled some days.  For whether we remember this day or that, they will be the same in one way or another.  They will have a consistent theme.

Our thoughts, our convictions, our calling, our daily choices all matter.  If at any time we compromise, even the smallest bit- oh, only just for a minute.  Just for this one person, we think, or this circumstance is different.  There we begin the sometimes subtle invasion of compromise in our lives.  But is it really that big of a deal?  Yes. If compromise is justified based on circumstance, then our morals, our calling, God’s truth in our lives becomes just a good idea.  How then is our commitment to God any different than someone else’s good idea to be a nice person?  Our commitment to God and His word should NOT be affected by circumstance.  THIS is consistency.

Psalm 15 talks about God “honoring those who fear the Lord, and keeps his oath even when it hurts”  Sometimes it is not easy to be constant.  Bending to circumstance—well, sometimes seems easier.  Maybe in the present it is easier, but in the end, it’s not.

Every minute matters.

When I am 91, it is my prayer –that I will have lived as consistent as humanly possible by God’s amazing grace.  I know on my own accord I am unable. At my core, I am inconsistent- sometimes thinking more about the opinion of man than of God.  I pray that I care more what God thinks of me—committing ALL my ways to Him, even when it hurts or is hard.  For when I am 91, I desire to have consistent memories of trusting God more than man.  Through the years,  hopefully my children will have gained great confidence in our Great God over confidence in “men”.  And “men” will turn to my children for wisdom and council because they consistently trusted God.  In the end, God will receive more glory.

When I am 91, when I “sit with my memories” (as my Nana says), there will be days that I remember this or that, BUT  I pray that they have a consistent theme. A theme that is clearly remembered– “trust in the Lord, and lean not on your own understanding, In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight, do not be wise in your own eyes”  Prov. 3:5-6

Every minute matters.

Week 1: Laundry

This is not the T-shirt kind of laundry.  This is the laundry that is in your life closet. All of those things in your life that are a source of stress, challenge, frustration, sadness, and maybe confusion. No one is without them.  We all have “dirty laundry” in our lives that we need to clean up.

The challenge is two fold.

First, make your laundry list.  List out all the things in your life that you would like to change or work on.  They can be personal (thoughts, attitude, actions), they can be financial (budget, choice making, debt, stress, work), or they can be marital (communication, different personalities, parenting, extended family).  Make your list- little and big alike.

Second, if you believe that God is sovereign, then He is sovereign ALL THE TIME.  It is impossible to be half way sovereign or sovereign in just part of our lives. So now, discipline yourself to go through your list and make a second list within a list.  List under each “laundry item” all the reasons why God would allow you to go through this challenge. Remember, this is a list about God’s sovereignty in your life- not about your mistakes and “natural consequences”.  So list it out.  Why would God allow you to be challenged in this way?  It’s a little like being a teacher and making a lesson plan.  What do you learn from this? What will be changed about you when this is all said and done?  How is your marriage going to be stronger because of this?

Psalm 40 is an excellent introduction, “I waited patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and heard my cry, He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, he set my feet on a rock, and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth a hymn of praise to our God”

Time and time again, God has plucked me out of that slimy pit. The list is very long, but here are just a few.  In jr. high and early high school I made A LOT of poor choices, dating, partying, rebellion (in summery). Though I suffered many consequences, it seemed as though I was lifted up and away from them. I was VERY aware that I didn’t REALLY suffer as I should have.  I saw so many of my friends get crushed, arrested, pregnant, loose opportunities,increase of a bad reputation, and more. Somehow, I didn’t end up with as severe consequences. I kept asking myself, “Who am I that I should be saved from such disaster?” It was actually beginning to bother me. Sounds funny, you think I would be thankful, and I was, but I was also wrestling with it all and sad for my friends at the same time. Then there I was, with my friends turning to me for help. I surely didn’t feel adequate, but God kept sending them to me.

In my High School years I began to learn about Christianity, namely a saving faith in Jesus. I was taught about grace and forgiveness and God’s sovereignty. Mike, our youth leader, kept telling me that God had a plan for my life and that maybe I should consider HIS plan over mine (in summary), and that GOD doesn’t make mistakes but people do that is what is why we NEED Jesus and His grace.  He also encouraged me to share what I learned with my friends.  That was the first time I ever really began to consider that I actually had something of great worth to offer others.

I wish I could say from that point on I lived a stellar life of Godliness, but any of you who know me well enough know how very human I am, how much I make mistakes, and how much I STILL desperately need Jesus’ saving grace.

Psalm 40 continues, “Many , O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, The things you have planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak of them, they would be too many to declare”

The entire story of God’s calling us into ministry, marriage and parenting is forever long (as that verse tells).  My dear friend, Maggie, once said to me, “If you wrote all that down no one would even believe it!” Seriously, we have been rescued from that slimy pit over and over. God has miraculously worked out every detail of our adoptions, church callings, and our marriage. He has made it EVER SO clear it was nothing we could have done on our own. From construction companies springing up out of nowhere to pay for our adoptions, to Sam’s miraculous recovery from open heart surgery, to Joel even being alive, to the many many times throughout it all that we can claim NOTHING but GOD.

Yet by God’s grace, Sean and I were given a desire to be in church ministry, to teach others about scripture, and to be a source of refreshing encouragement for others. By God’s grace, we had a seed planted in us to have a heart for adoption even though we had no fertility problems. By God’s grace, we were led to an adoption agency that had a ministry for adopting kids with special needs.  God broke our hearts. He crushed us on the inside. We were never the same again. Now we had in us a deep desire to love children (well, all people) with special needs whom the world had cast aside as a mistake or lemon deal in parenting.  So we said, here we are Lord, “we desire to do your will, your law is within our heart” (psalm 40).  We KNEW with all our hearts what it meant to be chosen my God, that God didn’t mess us up, that He loved us no matter what.  It was now the message of love we longed to give to a child (or children as it would turn out). God didn’t mess you up just because you have a disability- God chose you for a special purpose and we CHOOSE you too, we WANT to be your parents.

But as it would be, adopting multiple children with special needs and being in “official” church ministry don’t always create such a smooth ride! Oh, the Lord has blessed us with wonderful people in every church. People that loved and encouraged us. Thank the LORD for them ,because there were many who did not.

“I proclaim your righteousness in the great assembly, I do not seal my lips, I speak of your faithfulness and salvation, I do not conceal your love and truth.”

Sometimes it would be nice to fly under the radar, but way back in high school I clearly remember thinking, and praying, God I want to tell others so they can know. Oh the prayers we pray!!!!! Well, God has been faithful to answer and made it so that we can never hide away for too long. Oh sure we could of discreetly adopted, but no, God had us adopt three boys at once out of the PICU with special needs and pending open heart surgery. We could have quietly been encouraged by our wonderful church, but no, God had the head pastor (Sean’s boss) leave the SAME weekend we brought the boys home!! So NO “quietly” going on here! There Sean stood in front of the whole congregation…now it’s just me and I just more than doubled my family. CLEARLY we are going to need to be a team!  Of and then our next kids could have been quiet, BUT NO God blessed us with our beautiful Jamie, who is in a wheelchair. So now, EVERYWHERE we go it is noticed, we must answer, we must speak, we must tell of God’s grace in our lives!

Then, here in CT, the Lord called us to adopt again, more children born from people with addictions. Our family past plus many we have known that have struggled with addiction—the Lord used theses things to break our hearts again and call us to love little children born out of that sin.  Giving us our two beautiful little girls Sarah and Joanna, God had us challenge the state of CT on “family size” proving that 8 kids is NOT too many, that it is NOT ruining our life or marriage, but rather it is BELSSING it and ENHANCING it on every side. Really? At the STATE level. Oh ya, that’s right God, I prayed for that didn’t I???

Through it all I have been painstakingly aware of my humanness, my sinfulness, my ability to mess up anything! Hey, I know I have gifts and strengths too, but parenting and leadership combined give you an all too real sense of your GREAT NEED FOR A SAVIOR! Psalm 40 continues, “May your love and truth always protect me, for troubles outnumber me, my sins have overtaken me, be pleased O God to save me, …may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you!”

So, who am I that the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name, would bother to rescue me out of that slimy pit over and over and over again – even when I messed up and put myself there??? I have come to know full well that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by our God. That God DOES NOT make mistakes, people do.  That God is not just a nice idea, that He is REAL and LIVING and ACTIVE in our lives, and we desperately need him every day! I KNOW full well that I do and so I must speak, I must share. How could I keep such a thing to myself? How I could I not tell others who are longing, deep in their own slimy pit- quietly inside their hearts longing. So I speak.

That is the summary of my testimony.  Thank you Lisa for challenging me to summarize it for you. I am grateful that God used you in my life to speak once again! (I did pray for that)

Thank you Lord for being so much more than I could ask or imagine!  “Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere!”

Well, kind of. I have spent many days answering this question both in church and in the grocery store! But the easiest way to answer it is with a passage from II Corinthians 5, “If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God, if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ’s love COMPELS us because we are CONVINCED that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he [Christ] that died for all, that those who live should NO LONGER LIVE FOR THEMSELVES but for Christ who died for them. So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. THOUGH WE ONCE REGUARDED CHRIST THIS WAY, WE DO SO NO LONGER.”

It is not for us, because of us, or about us, but the great transforming work that Christ has done in our hearts. That we desire to love ALL people the way Christ does.  We are human, we are not perfect, we make mistakes, but we are convinced that THIS is what we should persue with our whole life!

The section entitled “WOMEN” will really be for moms.  We are starting in our church both a marriage study and parenting study this 2010.   This section will “contain” those things. It is my desire that it blesses and refreshes you in your walk with the Lord.

I have learned in the short span of my little life, that THIS is the exact reason why God tells us in His Word to “meditate on my Word both day and night” to let it “overflow from our lips”. If we didn’t fill ourselves with God’s Truth (capital T) then we would be consumed by daily truth (lower case t)- which many all “reality”.  Of course “reality” is true, but throughout “reality” God’s Truth NEVER changes.  He has proven that with time.

Psalm 65:3

“When we were overwhelmed by sins you forgave our transgressions.”  Some times we look to “clean up” our lives in order to come before God.  Mainly because we know our inadequacies. But God doesn’t ask that of us.  “When we were overwhelmed by sins”—not after we cleaned up our mess! This is what Mercy and Grace are all about.

There are so many struggles with natural consequences, holding someone accountable, challenging their choices, yet loving them all the while. I think of my friend and how many, many days she must of prayed about showing grace and mercy and love to her daughter and struggled to balance it with the immense need for consequences of actions. It is right and good to hold someone accountable to making better choices, to challenge what they have come to accept as “an OK normal”. Seriously, the Bible is chalk full of lesson after lesson on how we should live our lives!  But God is so very clear about love- His love and ours.

Psalm 89:31

“If they forsake my law and do not follow my statutes, if they violate my decrees and fail to keep my commands, I will punish their sin with the rod, their iniquity with flogging; BUT I WILL NOT TAKE MY LOVE FROM THEM, NOR WILL I EVER BETRAY MY FAITHFULNESS.”

Communicating and showing love is so very hard sometimes. Just when we think we have figured it out, life gets sticky and we realize we aren’t so good at it after all.  But God doesn’t ask us to be perfect, He just asks us to “love one another just as I have loved you”. 

Oh God, help us all this day to daily grow in loving one another.  We are so very human- and You are not!

My little Josiah said to me the other day “I am so glad God had me adopted because “I know full well that I am wonderfully made and God’s works are wonderful” and God doesn’t make mistakes”  I just about cried. I gave him a big hug and said- you are right- I agree- God is awesome isn’t He?

Out of the mouths of babes!!!  May your day be richly blessed! (and Josiah’s quote is from Psalm 139:14)

Motherhood is somewhat of a marathon.  A long journey that requires much commitment, planing, learning, and always some encouragement until you reach the end.  Where is the end?  Well, if you ask me, it is never ending until the day I rest with my God, because once you start, you just can’t stop!  Motherhood is a long journey of blessings!!

It is my desire to share along the journey. A few laughs, a few trials, a few lessons learned, and hopefully, an abundance of encouragement to all moms on their journey.  I am a long, long way from the finish line, but I am keeping my eyes fixed on my prize!